she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
