its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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