everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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