I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Someone shattered a urinal.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
