I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
