I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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