I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
