In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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