Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
