He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
