Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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