i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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