part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
