I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
