Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
