just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
