problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
