I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
