I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
