If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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