Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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