I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
