My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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