Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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