don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
