Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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