OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
