some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We're too hungover to prance.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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