Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
