I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
