I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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