Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
