So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
