The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
