just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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