May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
