if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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