well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
