maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Mom said you looked used
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
