3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
