were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
