so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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