True but thats because hes a fetus.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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