Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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