apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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