i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
