I forgot how hot balto sounded
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
