Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
