Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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