"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
