Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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(850): View more from Florida

I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.

Fav 68 5361 988
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(845): View more from New York

They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex

Fav 14 1375 4771
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(734): View more from Michigan

you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

Fav 7 2291 1377
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(315): View more from New York

The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....

(507): View more from Minnesota

.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....

Fav 5 1112 812
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

Fav 7 982 1332
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(904): View more from Florida

I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.

Fav 2 22 53
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.

Fav 0 36 8
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